谈革命

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2013-08-08 00:03:29 来源:
首先我必须要澄清一点,我不是来革命的,我只是来谈革命的。80年代的电影里,很多群众演员都喜欢操着生硬的普通话对革命主角讲,革命是要砍头的。末了。到电影结尾的时候,主角真被砍头了,这是大多数革命者的下场。

谈革命的人不一样,中国最有名的谈革命的人,不是韩寒,不是陈独秀、不是毛泽东,而是一个德国人,叫马克思。以前无论走到哪里都可以看到这个人的照片,辈分比毛主席还高,现在中国宪法里还写着这个人的主义。但凡中国做事,最喜欢讲国情,可在选择主义这件事情上,就完全跟国际接轨了,这再一次证明了我国体制的灵活性,在需要讲国情的时候,坚决讲国情,在需要跟国际接轨的时候,坚决跟国际接轨。为什么我们中国人会选择一个德国人的主义?倒不是因为外来的和尚好念经,实在是因为这个主义最具有革命性。想像一下,你手捧宣言,高唱英特奈雄尔,号召全世界无产者联合起来的时候,那会是怎样的热血沸腾?
 
这个德国人,谈了一辈子革命,一边谈革命一边谈恋爱,左手抱着燕妮右手抱着《共产党宣言》,著作等身,可就是没有干过革命。马克思活了66岁,比15岁就因被革命而死的刘胡兰多活了51年。由此可见,谈革命是一件相当优雅和安全的事情,还能谈恋爱传宗接代。德国人谈完了革命以后,俄国人开始干革命,中国跟着干,越南人接着干,古巴人继续干,朝鲜人一直干,牺牲了很多人,饿死了很多人,世界上的革命其实只剩下了一种,就是死人的革命,也就是说革命是要死人的。

因此我只是来谈革命的。但是在目前这种语境下谈革命,多少会有点滑稽的味道。谈革命的永远不会干革命,如果你是韩寒,开着跑车,拿着名次,代言凡客,博客粉丝十万计,年入千万,你想不想干革命?干革命的人不能谈革命,因为一谈革命,他就暴露了。真正的革命者要么象诸葛亮那样躲在深山老林里,天天做宅男;要么就象余则成那样潜伏在保密局里,伪装成反革命,革命也干了,红酒也喝了,老婆也娶了,还去台湾结了二婚。偶尔有极个别高调谈革命的,象康有为梁启超这些,发言的时候总是第一个上台,跑路的时候也是第一个,谭嗣同没有弄清楚状况,他到死才明白一个真正的道理,谈革命的人不一定会真革命。
 
谈革命的人不一定会真革命,干革命的人呢?可笑的是,在中国当下的语境,根本不会有革命的存在,中国当下的语境,只有反革命。号称革命的人不革命,革命的人却是反革命,这就是中国的语境,所以,一般老百姓看不懂谁是真革命谁是反革命,就好像一般网民看不懂谁是五毛谁是一块一样。

尽管如此,在中国,还是干革命的比谈革命的多。以下随便列举5条:

xx英语,中国人学英语的革命。(李阳,你懂的)
x白金。中国人送礼的革命。(虽然也叫白金,但不是白金钻戒,你还是懂的)
xx牛奶,中国人营养的革命。(最近查出致癌物,你懂的)
xx仙液,中国男人阳痿的革命。(电线杆上到处都是,常见的)
xxx医院,治疗中国人不孕不育的革命。(移动电视广告上最常见,你能背诵的)

这些都是风风火火干革命的,所以在中国,如果你脑袋开光了做梦的时候梦见自己发明了一个奇怪的东西,第二天你一拍脑袋喊出一声“xxxx是中国人xxx的革命”,你就率先革命了,至少也是加入革命了。可见中国人是喜欢革命也相信革命的,君不见,我们每天都在被革命,今天是蚁力神,中国人治疗风湿病的革命,明天是汇仁肾宝,男人站起来的革命,后天是地沟油,打破中石油垄断的革命……凡此种种,革命就象西北风吹脸,想躲都躲不了。只要是标榜革命的东西都在热卖,去晚了没有排上队还得下次再来。那些没有热卖的东西也哭着喊着要和革命攀上亲戚。再反过来看那些谈革命的人,信誉都垮台了,牛刀一直鼓吹的房地产降价革命从来就没有到来过,卫生部长一直鼓吹的医药分家革命也从来没有到来过,而蒙牛鼓吹的每天一杯奶强壮中国人的营养革命好不容易来了还被打回原形,成了三聚氰胺们的反革命。

谈革命的人也是有代价的,在中国,谈革命的代价就是出名,你谈得越多,名气越大,你名气越大,你就有机会谈得越多,你谈得越多,失去的自由就越多,上街被狗仔队盯梢,车震被视频爱好者偷拍,逛夜店被曝光和某某陌生女子吻别,连开辆跑车都被人证明是你干爹买的。尽管如此,谈革命者络绎不绝有如过江之卿。凡谈革命者,他们必把简单的话题谈复杂,把复杂的话题谈高难,把高难的话题谈脑残,越谈不清楚,公众和媒体就越需要你,就好像韩寒,谈了一大半天,还是没有谈清楚什么是革命,现在公众们都指望着他下一篇博文里谈清楚,别急,插播一段凡客诚品的代言广告,不要走开,稍后更精彩。

那么,我们究竟是要谈革命还是要干革命呢?谈革命的人出名了,干革命的人致富了,如果又想出名又想致富,就像李大钊陈独秀那样,又谈革命又干革命。广场上黑压压的人群都是粉丝,其中有个别摸包贼,有个别找错了场子以为有免费鸡蛋领的下岗职工,还有极个别的广场色狼(有别于公交色狼,作案成本更便宜,连车费都省了),还有一些人在广场上发革命传单,上面写着大大的标语:“纯情小旅馆,90后学生休息的圣地,单间配套50元!“ 除掉以上那些不明真相的围观群众,剩下的都是革命群众,敲着腰鼓,身穿彩服,跳着秧歌,唱着红歌,演出开始了,真正的革命志士登场讲话,掌声,欢呼声,锣鼓声,鞭炮声,礼炮声……,总结过去革命成果,探讨现在革命形势,展望未来革命前景,一边谈革命一边干革命,一边致富一边出名。

好熟悉的场景?这不是电影《建党大业》里的镜头吗?把戏服和台词一换,连请群众演员的钱都省了。如果说电影里有革命,辛亥革命里有革命,建党大业里有革命,我们的每个广场上,每个礼堂中,都有革命,而且规模更宏大,气势更雄伟,人们脸上的表情更激动更真诚,中国从来就不缺乏革和革命者,没有革命,我们可以制造革命。

这对于那些一天到晚,哭着喊着要革命的人来说,无异于一记响亮的耳光。革命不是一直都在吗,你着什么急啊?

因此,革命并不是不存在,相反,革命就好像琼瑶剧一样,每天都在上演,而这些革命的入场券上,永远都写着政治正确四个字。也就是说,革命只是正确的人在正确的时间正确的地点参加了一场正确的嘉年华。
 
而我的脑海里,始终有一幕场景挥之不去:
 
“铡刀前,刘胡兰止步回首,泰然自若地告别了父母,告别了养育她的家乡土地和勤苦勇敢的乡亲们。“永别了,乡亲们,战斗吧,同志们,敌人的末日不远了,胜利一定是我们的。”她鄙视了一眼垂死挣扎的敌人,甩了甩披在脸上的短发;仰望翻滚的乌云,环顾万里江山……她坚信,黑夜即将过去,祖国的明天将阳光灿烂,就在生命的最后一息,刘胡兰同志高呼:“中国共产党万岁!毛主席万岁!”她从容地走向铡刀……”
 
我记得辛亥革命是反万岁的,宫里的那些万万岁千千岁全被革命党赶下了台,故宫里山呼万岁的场景一去不返了。而在此刻此时,革命者再次用万岁的呐喊赋予革命以终极意义,革命就是把旧的万岁赶下去,把新的万岁扶上台。
 
最后,请允许我,以无比慷慨激昂的声音和神态,朗诵毛泽东同志关于革命的著名论述,并作为本文的总结陈词:
“革命不是谈出来的,革命不是请客吃饭,不是做文章,不是绘画绣花,不能那样雅致,那样从容不迫,文质彬彬,那样温良恭俭让。革命是暴动,是一个阶级推翻一个阶级的暴烈的行动”。

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